Reviewed by Christine Kinori
It takes a lot of courage to write a deeply personal memoir about the darkest moments of your life. Anthony Gurley’s Deadly Dilemma: Suicide, Faith, and the Search for Identity and Purpose is an incredibly raw and intimate memoir that does not shy away from a struggle most people are constantly battling. Purchase Here.
The book opens with a profoundly poignant suicide letter that Anthony never sent. In that moment, he had decided to end it all. However, he chose not to act on his plans but rather to examine his entire life with unfiltered honesty.
What follows is a gripping memoir that emotionally dives into his poverty-ridden childhood in a North Carolina housing project. His first brush with abandonment which came when his father left, followed by academic failures and years spent navigating the complexities of faith, marriage, and career.
From the start, Gurley approaches this memoir with a radical vulnerability that will surprise you. As one reads through the chapters, the book starts to feel like a late-night conversation where there is room to safely discuss traumas—a safe space of sorts.
The balanced retrospective, as Anthony exposes every emotional and traumatic wound, feels authentic. Thanks to this, even the dark themes of the book don’t feel completely overwhelming or hopeless. Instead, we get a sense of hope as the book becomes an impactful testament to his daily mental health struggles and his endurance through faith—a reminder that we can weather life’s worst storms and that sometimes our greatest victories are silent but powerful.
Don’t get us wrong, this is a heavy book to read. The raw confrontation with psychological, intergenerational trauma and the weight of silenced depression in this book is not easy to read. However, by grounding the book in reality, the intentional pacing keeps the heavy themes from dragging the reader down. Nonetheless, this is one reason to read the book. Uniquely, it provides a realistic blueprint for others walking through the dark.
The book also does a perfect job of destigmatizing faith and mental health. It bridges the gap that many who have deep faith while struggling with severe mental crises refuse to talk about. Anthony shows that these are not mutually exclusive realities and there is no shame in openly talking about it. For so long, religious communities have wrongfully treated mental crises as a spiritual failure. It is about time someone tears down this dangerous narrative to the ground. The agonizing guilt these narratives perpetuate has only made matters worse.
Anthony stresses that fighting clinical depression doesn’t diminish one’s faith. He reframes mental health as a medical reality that requires real, professional care alongside spiritual support.
Anthony’s story also proves that there really is light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, mental health is a daily struggle, but the little triumphs that come along the way help people build meaningful lives.
At the end of the day, life is a choice; one can choose to stay and anchor oneself to things that help make one better. It can be family, friends, faith, or a hobby. Whatever it is, as long as there is hope. For Anthony, his two biggest grounding anchors are his 50-year marriage and 30-year career.
Deadly Dilemma is a necessary, life-saving read for anyone navigating the quiet intersections of depression, identity crises, and faith. It is unflinching and strips away the taboo surrounding the intersection of faith and mental health.
Anthony’s story is not only beautiful because of his unabashed authenticity and honesty. It is a life-affirming reminder that even when plans change, we can discover new purposes in life. It is a celebration of a man who bravely fights and learns to tame the internal dragons in his mind.









