Reviewed byTimea Barabas
The most valuable self-help books are those grounded in lived experience and written with a genuine commitment to helping others. This book exemplifies both qualities. Riley Ellis draws on her personal experience of divorcing a narcissistic partner to thoughtfully guide readers through the process with care. The Ultimate Guide to Divorcing a Narcissist is an accessible read, offering actionable advice and structured exercises to support readers. Purchase Here.
What distinguishes a divorce from a narcissistic partner is the complexity of the emotional, psychological, and practical dynamics involved. Riley Ellis examines the intricate web that develops over years of marriage to a narcissist, helping readers understand why the process can be particularly challenging.
One of the most difficult steps is acknowledging that you deserve a healthier, more fulfilling life. Once the decision to file for divorce is made, Ellis emphasizes the importance of remaining resolute and taking deliberate steps to protect yourself (and your children, if applicable) throughout the process.
Narcissistic individuals are highly manipulative, capable of presenting themselves as the ideal spouse or, conversely, as the victim. They also tend to shift blame onto their partner for any problems within the family. Although this façade can be convincing, it is not sustainable. Over time, or under prolonged stress and scrutiny, inconsistencies begin to show.
One factor that reliably dismantles this illusion is factual evidence. The author strongly recommends gathering and preserving objective documentation, including medical records, written communications, and detailed notes of significant events and your emotional responses to them. Whenever possible, maintain communication in written or electronic form, as it allows for accurate documentation.
The book consolidates essential guidance on divorcing a narcissistic partner into a comprehensive resource. It addresses how to build an effective support team, establish and maintain firm boundaries, safeguard your well-being, and prepare strategically for mediation and trial. The guide also includes practical financial considerations.
For parents, Riley Ellis provides focused advice on protecting children’s best interests, communicating with them in an age-appropriate manner, and understanding the range of legal parenting arrangements available once the divorce is finalized.
Rooted in the author’s personal experience, the book serves as a practical self-help guide for navigating a divorce from a narcissistic spouse. The language is candid and includes profanity, making it clearly intended for an adult audience. Through her openness and willingness to share her own experiences, Riley Ellis reassures readers that they are not alone. She offers guidance to help them move forward toward a safer and more stable future.